she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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