if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
