that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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