I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
as a side note pls kill me
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