it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
