During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
