she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
