Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
