I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Found the puke drawer
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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