Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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