I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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