Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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