everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
