it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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