I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
