You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
