What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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