none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
