that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
