So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
