Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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