So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
