I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
