My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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