Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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