Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
