Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I understand Curling. That high.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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