I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
