so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize