Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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