Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
