How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
