i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
