Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize