How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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