i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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