We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
