Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
