I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
