so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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