i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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