I faked an abortion last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
