someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
