He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
