I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
