A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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