He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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