hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
