This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize