dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
