Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
