he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you had me at cake vodka
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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