my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
