there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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