He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
