Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
