i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
