Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
