Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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