hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
