I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
