could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
