Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's never too late to be topless.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
