Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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