making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
