So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
