question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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