I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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